Journal with your heart, not with your head

There are some people, some relationships, where you do not have just a basic conversations about weather, sharing how was your day or details from your life. Those that you have a truly transforming meetings with. Whether they happen in person, online or as a simple conversation over the phone. And I don't mean that the other person transforms you, has influence over you. But it's the combo. The dynamic you create together. When you can discuss various topics. While besides exchanging perspectives or experiences you build up on it. Today one of the topics that we have touched with my friend was journaling. I think it started with us reflecting on the passing year, our goals, our future.

In the past I have tried to keep several notebooks clustering topics. Separating between "personal" journaling, planning my future, reflecting on my work. I came to a reflection today on my way of doing it, while I was sharing about it. It was a live mode process. I do let myself write down whatever I want, how much I want, in which ever form I want. It may sound obvious, but wasn't to me, neither my friend. Until recently I have tried to control what I am journaling about, somehow categorizing topics between better and worse for that. I was controlling how much time or lines do I spend on one topics. Also forcing myself to journal about something I considered a must topics, even though I had no need for that. Also my language had to be controlled, consistent. As if I was writing a book for everyone to read.

I have changed that and let myself to just be in the flow, turn of controlling part of my brain and just feel it. Let myself dive into thoughts or emotions for as much as I want to, switch as often as I want to. Sometimes I will write just a sentence or two about one feeling or thought and then change to a subject that takes a whole page. Other timers these are few sentences notes on various aspects.

This uncontrolled free way of writing in my notebook let's me just be with myself, explore my heart, my mind, my subconscious.

That is the second change I have made. I am writing from my future. Stepping into situations, stages of my life I want for myself. Formulating my words in present time, as if that future was in the exact moment. That helped me to realize what do i fear. Every change has it's consequences, which subconsciously may scare us. When realizing that I can look closer. Is this an information, that the future I was imagining for myself won't be as I expect it? That maybe it is not what I really want? Or maybe, I need to spend some time with this uncomfortable feeling, get familiar with that part of my future reality to just realize, that there is nothing scary about it. It's simply a new situation which actually can be exciting. As new experiences should be. That this is something what subconsciously is blocking me from reaching to my future. For me personally, working thru those emotions and situation just in my head, on the pages of my journal, it's unlocking my path :) I am more excited about it.

It's no more future that will stay in the future, as all my fears will block it from realization. It is a future that is already becoming my reality, because I have faced the uncomfortable part of the unknown. Now there is only the fun, exciting part to look forward to :) Such journaling is like going on a walk without a map, without a phone, without a goal. Just exploring the nature and letting yourself to discover your path ahead of you

I am curious if you are journaling too. Do you have some tricks that works for you? Have you ever wrote to yourself from your future?